Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
