those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
