every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
