If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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