I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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