I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
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I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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