I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
