you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
