all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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