oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
