If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
