direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
