I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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