"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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