i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
