Swine flu. Run for my life!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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