i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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