he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
how drunk are you?
Several
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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