Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
