how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
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