Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
