let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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