Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
porn star boner night. come get it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
