i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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