She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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