So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
