he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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