Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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