i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
