PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
