you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
