So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
