Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Your dad touched me again.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
