you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
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Strip Mario-Kart
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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