For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
