I heard we made out
too bad you live with your parents still
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
