I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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