someone get that fucking seahorse.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
