Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
