she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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