mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
