Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
