Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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