He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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