I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
