i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
