we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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