I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
