1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize