3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
