make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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