belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
