i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
