omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
