Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
