it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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