I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
