Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
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I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?