No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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