Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
