i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
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Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
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Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence