Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.