just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.