News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something