somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?