Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.