I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize