Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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