Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The uberlube is also flammable
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
