Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
