I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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