too bad you live with your parents still
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
