I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
