i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
