I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
